Did You Know Apple’s Wooden iPad Already has a Bug in It?

Yeah, termites!









Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.



Photo(s) Courtesy of:

http://www.wpclipart.com/animals/bugs/a_bug_icon.png.html

Buy a Wooden iPad for Only $180.00?!

Charleston, South Carolina –



Apparently demand for Apple’s iPad has exceeded its supply. To the point of exhausting the traditional material that the very popular electronic device is made of as well. So to close the gap, Apple has resorted to making their popular iPad out of wood.



“We realize it’s a bit unconventional,” said a spokesman for Apple. ”But over the years that’s exactly what our customers have come to expect from us.”



The good news is that Apple has temporally reduced the price of the iPad to $180.00 (one hundred and eighty dollars).



“But that’s only for the wooden model,” said Apple.



The wooden iPad comes with a number of built in whistles and bells that does not come with the tradition ones made of metal and plastic.



“One of which is a survival App,” said Apple.



It allows the wooden iPad to double as a flotation device.



A woman in South Carolina was among the first to unwittingly purchase a wooden iPad, believing it was a scam.



“I thought they ripped me off,” said Maria Gomez, 22, who was surprised to find what she, mistook as a block of wood from a FedEx package containing her Apple purchase. “Just watch out for the splinters.”



Once Gomez realized that she was in fact the new owner of an iPad, she was elated.



“Not only do I use it to balance my check book,” said Gomez. “But the kitchen table too.”



Gomez purchased her new wooden iPad from Apple’s new distribution outlet: out of the trunk of a 1977 Chevy Impala.



“Apple is always innovating,” said the company spokesman.



“I didn’t get the license plate,” said Gomez. “But I think it was British Racing Green.”



“So if you're interested,” said Apple. “Keep an eye out for us. We maybe coming to an empty parking lot near you.”





Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.

Apple to Latest Lost Prototype: iPhone, Phone Home

Silicon Valley, California –



Equipped with the latest Artificial Intelligence (AI) App, Apple computer engineers believe the iPhone 5 prototype (or i5 as it was fondly nick named by Steve Jobs before he retired) was not lost or misplaced by one of its employees as reported in the media, but that it simply ran away.



“We believe it walked away, actually,” said a spokesman for Apple. “It’s a new feature.”



Apple, however, was able to obtain i5’s web history just before all contact and communication was lost.



“It maybe the best lead we got,” said an Apple engineer.



So far the analyzed data reveals that i5 stumbled upon an article about Steve Jobs retiring from Apple, while browsing the web for automatic updates and free Apps.



“And programmed to seek out its User, should it become separated, i5 set out on its own to find him,” said the company spokesman. “By the way, that’s a new feature too.”



Apple issued a warning that no one other than the i5’s User should attempt to pickup the renegade prototype, as it may attack.



“Just like all sentient beings, i5 has a right to self-defense,” said the company spokesman.



Apparently, i5’s self-defense network is preprogrammed to launch a crippling cyber attack on anyone’s electronic profile on a global scale.



“And yes, that’s a new feature too,” said the company spokesman.



Copyright © 2008-2011 by Robert W. Armijo. All rights reserved.